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Adii Pienaar

Family man, seeker and learner. Revealing my inner-poet. 2X Founder: Conversio (acquired by Campaign Monitor) + WooCommerce (acquired by Automattic). Ex-Rockstar.

Ep14 - Lora DiCarlo | It all Started with an Orgasm


Lora DiCarlo is the Founder and CEO of sex-tech start-up, Lora DiCarlo. Through tech, she has revolutionized the sex tool industry. In this episode, Adii and Lora talk about personal values that served as a foundation for her business and building the best team to create a sexually equitable world.

It all Started with an Orgasm

When Lora was 28, she had a “mind-bending, full-body orgasm” that totally transformed the way she thought about masturbation and sex. She began looking into physiology and orgasms. This is where she discovered that very little research had actually been done about this topic. Additionally, there were no sex toys available that would help her recreate this experience.

She needed data, so she gathered information from people she knew—which ended up being a truly enlightening experience. She found that not only do people not know much about their own anatomy, but they also felt an initial sense of shame when talking about their bodies and sexuality.

“It wasn’t just me, it wasn’t just some kind of fluke. And that’s when I realized there was a problem to be solved… and I had the solution.”

It was then she knew she needed to be the one to create these kinds of materials, and ultimately, tools to help people not only understand, but embrace their sexuality.

Tools, Not Toys

Lora didn’t want to be the “sex toy CEO” but that’s exactly what she became—and she couldn’t be more proud because she has totally transformed the way the industry of sex exists in the tech industry.

There is a problem, Lora says, with the word “toy” in the term “sex toy”. At Lora DiCarlo they use data-driven designs to create sexual tools, rather than toys.

Tools of Identity

“Sexuality, sexual masturbation, and self-exploration are very closely tied to identity. And when you’re comfortable in your identity, that allows you to  feel more confident in the way you arrive and the way that you show up in the world.”

It wasn’t until she founded her company that she truly embraced the fact that she is bisexual.

That is a huge part of Lora DiCarlo’s mission: being able to feel more comfortable and confident in your body and identity; and ultimately, eradicating the stigma and shame that surrounds sexuality, sexual identity, and masturbation.

“Particularly as women, or people with vaginas, I think we are often faced with this perceived ultimatum that we have to be somehow better than we already are to be taken seriously.”

There’s a huge crossover with gender dynamics, power, and sex. Many women feel the need to fake orgasms to make their partners feel better. Lora wants women to recognize that they are enough, that they do not need to perform above and beyond, nor be something they are not in order to get by in the world.

Sexual Wellness is Wellness

Lora deals with imposter syndrome, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, and depression on a daily basis. A lot of people do, she says, but those things can’t get better until we talk about them. The stigma surrounding these feelings is incredibly damaging.

Erasing stigmas is just the start when it comes to embracing your true identity, and feeling confident in your whole self—sexuality and all.

Lora DiCarlo hopes to create a sexually equitable world where sexuality is not only accepted and destigmatized, but praised. It is their goal to enable all humans of all sexualities and identities to be able to explore their bodies, educate, love, and accept themselves and others.


Lora DiCarlo

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